Reality Bites

When the average American reflects on the years important in American history, many forget the great year of 1992. Many remember 1992 as the year Bill Clinton left Little Rock for the Oval Office. Others remember 1992 as the year that Bradley Nowell and the rest of Sublime sang about the atrocities of the L.A Riots and explained it only takes "40oz. to Freedom." However I remember 1992 for something much more important, the beginnings of reality television. The television masterminds Mary-Ellis Bunim and Jonathan Murray created the first American reality series we all know as "The Real World." The purpose of the reality show is to focus on the lives of seven strangers who live together in a multi million dollar house for several months. Dozens of cameramen and thousands of hidden cameras record the interpersonal relationships of "the seven strangers, who are picked to live in a house, work together and have their lives taped" (sound familiar). After concocting a cast that consisted of a gay man, a devout Christian, the naive southern girl, sexually driven twenty-somethings and endless hooch, reality TV became an instant hit. Since the birth of reality television in 1992 we have since created pop-stars, given Flavor Flav a second chance, gotten to fist pump on the Jersey Shore, made being a Housewives cool, learned how to flip houses, taught D-List celebrities how to dance and figured out that most of America is NOT smarter than a 5th Grader.

Like alcohol and caffeine, reality tv is a legally addictive drug in which I am totally hooked. My reality tv stint began with The Real World and American Idol, I then added on a few trashy VH1 shows and now my DVR is consumed with nothing but America's next top chefs, models, designers, artist and cake decorators. Although most reality tv shows give undiscovered talent the opportunity to hit it big, they only require your sanity in return. There are currently three shows on television in which sanity has an expensive price tag; The Hills, all of the Real Housewives and Jon & Kate + 8.

The Hills first began as a spin-off from the AMAZING reality show "Laguna Beach." America watched as Lauren Conrad left Orange County for the Hollywood Hills. In order to stay realistic to the life a high-school graduate, MTV set Lauren up with an internship at Teen Vogue, gave her a brand new Mercedes and set her up in a two-story apartment over looking the Hollywood sign. Shortly after her arrival in L.A, Lauren was quickly given friends like Audrina Patridge and Whitney Port. Together the two were forced to listen to the whining of L.C. L.C's whining mainly consisted of boys, Heidi and more boys. Eventually viewers became bored with L.C and moved on to the more insane. Spencer and Heidi's dysfunctional marriage, Brodie and Frankie's bromance and Kristen Cavallari bitchy-ness. Much like The Real World, the greatest episodes of The Hills are the result of a long night of Red Bull and Vodka at La Deux.

My latest obsession, any cast of the Real Housewives series. Rather than actually depicting what it is like to be a rich housewife, the real housewives have shown us that drama is not just for high schoolers, but also the fifety-somethings.

The final stop in crazy town is at the doorstep of John & Kate + 8. Their story unlike The Hills, is simple. Man like girls, girl forces guy to marry her, girl has twins, girl is not happy, girl has six more kids. After realizing that they will now have eight children under the age of 2, the couple decided to whore themselves out on national television. Constant chaos was an immediate ratings grabber and with the ratings came the end of the Gosselin's. Rather than hold on to their last shred of dignity, Kate Gosselin did what any mother of 8 would do, join the cast of Dancing with the Stars. However Jon Gosselin will receive the award for being the biggest douchebag. Before finalizing his divorce he became besties with Michael Lohan (World's #1 Deadbeat Dad).

Reality TV trash keep up the beer bashes, petty fights and scandalous hook-ups, I will be watching.