Inspiration Douchebags

My next topic is devoted to a group of men who everybody loves to hate, Douchebags! Douchebags have always been a unique group of men who pride themselves on their tan skin, 6-pack abs and spiky hair. This new breed of the male species entered the social scene years ago thanks mostly to a man named Ed Hardy, relax I know he is not a real person. However, if Ed Hardy were a person, I picture him to be old, short, round, balding, hanging onto what he has left of his youth while he is covered in gold jewelry and body hair(maybe I just subconsciously described Christian Audigier). Although Ed Hardy is an easy target, Affliction is equally too blame. Affliction is a multi-million dollar T-SHIRT company whose designing capability is restricted to the name "Affliction," dead angels and crosses. Together these two companies have successfully bejeweled douchebags from the Jersey Shore to Dallas, Texas.

The Jersey Shore needs no explanation, Guido's are the ultimate douchebags. MTV of was able to create a popular reality television series in which these douchebags taught us the importance of G.T.L. The next city that has fallen victim to the ways of the douchebags is Dallas, Texas. Dallas has become a breeding ground for this newest group of social climbers. The two most popular douchebag hot spots have taken over uptown like a bad cause of Mono. The first hot spot is filled with loud techno music, blue lighting and $12 drinks. The single "noun" clubs along McKinney Ave (Lotus, Aura, Dragonfly, Republic)are the places to be seen among their in-crowd. Their street cred is earned as long as they attend clubs with a doorman and bottle service. The second and most obvious, any gym with free weights. This hot spot is an opportunity for the normal folk to see the douchebags stripped of their Ed Hardy and Affliction uniforms. While at the gym they put aside the jewels for Nike shorts and an old sorority date party t-shirt with cut off sleeves, leaving their precious pecs and abs exposed for all to see (also be aware of the strategically placed forearm sweatband). In case you are blind and have no idea what I am talking about, just listen for the loud grunts and the manly five-highs. Ladies I have now warned you of two places where these obnoxious men flock, and I urge you, beware of The Hardy!

To all the Dallas Douchebags we raise our Lone Star beers and salute you. Thank you the countless jokes and hours of entertainment.